Tom Rankin, Not Riddle

I need human contact.

Anyone wanna hang out sometime this week? Like, seriously? Because currently my activities are as follows:

Eat
Sleep
Watch How I Met Your Mother
Play Pokemon
Shower

that’s…about it.

Oh and go to rehearsal for a…play. Yeah, funny how that happens, right? Sigh. I cannot say no. Honestly, it’s a great show. I’m just…well, wanting a bit of a break from theater. Every time I go and I work on it and go to rehearsals, I love it, I really do, I just….meh. Don’t want to do the whole theater shindig right now. I wanted to wait a couple of years before I got back into the circuit. But I’m already caught up, and so many of my good friends are in it. How could I say no?

Anyway, anyone who wants to hang out, just call me or text me.

I’m lonely in my hermit cave. 

you are, an idiot.

“hang out”??? Really??? You officially fail at asking a girl out on a date. You don’t even have to say “date” say, “dinner”, they’ll get the clue. Especially “hang out with so-and-so and so-and-so”

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

not to mention I realized later I, once again, dominated the conversations, and was probably in her personal bubble the entire time. Gah.

Other than that the night went well. I introduced her to Jurassic Park, and we had some time to talk after, a good amount of time….until her dad asked us to shut it down. Lol. “Shut it Down”. Granted, he had good reasons, he had to get up early but…I felt like in junior high.

I wish I was more skilled with girls. I’ve always been terrible with them, even when IN a relationship. Gah. I’m an idiot.

Thank you, Vomit Blog, for always listening. And though you cannot respond, I’ll imagine you saying back to me “Yes, you ARE an idiot. A huge one,”

Will Smith, become Hitch and help me.

That you call my music bad, when you have probably the most limited, small-minded entertainment selection the world has to offer.

The ignorant enrage me.

Bludgeon me even more with over opinionated peoples’ stances on Gay Marriage and how if you believe homosexuality is wrong then you’re automatically evil, fascist, hateful, stupid or a redneck even though they may find gay marriage to be okay. Hell, instead of making Facebook about reconnecting with friends and keeping up with what’s going on with their lives, let’s make it about people putting their overly-opinionated bullshit all over the screen like the aftermath of shit hitting a fan. 

I’m really enjoying it.

I wish love and relationships were easier.

First post break up crush. First post Allie….anyone. It’s weird. And slightly unsettling. And a little scary but exciting all at the same time. She’s great. She has a lot of the attributes I look for in a girl. She just has that tiiiiiiiiiiny little problem….which isn’t so tiny really :/. I just wish I could tell her how I feel. I’m afraid if I do it’d totally screw everything up, given the circumstances that be. Bah, this is so complicated.

Still. It’s better than thinking about her all the time. Thinking about last year and Jan-Feb….”The Dark Ages” as I now call them. Better than thinking about that night. Not that I still don’t think about her time to time. She was a huge part of my life. I gave her a huge piece of me….and I’m still working to repair and remedy that.

I’m not using my new crush to get over her, I was well on the way before this. In fact, I think starting to really be over the ex allowed me to truly realize the feelings I have for my new crush.

I sound like a girl. But I don’t care. Guys feel like girls do. I just happen to be very expressive about how I feel. That’s the point of this blog, after all.

At all
I couldn’t explain why. I think it was the people. Let me get this straight, I wasn’t being an asshole. There’s just people whom I want to spend time with and people I’d rather not. We all do. And they were those people.

So I acted like a bit of an asshole. A bit annoying. A bit weird. The situation took me out of my element. And I didn’t like it. So I made up some lame excuse and left.

I felt kind of bad, but I wasn’t obligated to stay, so I didn’t. Wasn’t like we were even interacting. She either was talking to them or writing her paper. I don’t know why I was even there. I told her I wanted to meet at Starbucks, somewhere neutral, because I knew I’d be like that if I went there. So, yeah….not my fault that I was like that I guess you could say.

I just hate how I am sometimes, picky with people. I’m not judging or anything, just picky. And I hate how she hangs out with different people that I just, idk, sometimes don’t want to spend time with her unless its one on one. Because then she feels….more relatable. More like how I remember before the relationship. With them she feels like she’s THERE friend first and I get the scraps.

I’m not complaining, bitching, or anything. I’m quite neutral in emotions as I say this. I’m just getting it out before it becomes a bitch fest. I may be wrong about some things, but opinions can be wrong, and this is my opinion. This is how I feel. It’s a weird situation, and it isn’t my fault, and it isn’t hers either. It just is what it is.

And I don’t like it. I wish I knew how to deal with it. Because right now… I have no best friend. I have best friendS… But no best of the best. That space is empty.

And I’d like my best friend back.

If I be the leader of an organization again.

I am sick of the politics. I am sick of the faculty shoving their ideas down my throat and then getting in trouble with other ones for doing so. I hate all this bullshit and blame that FALLS ON ME all the damn time.

I cannot wait to announce the new president on Sunday.

Not to kiss her.

Yes, I do have the beginnings of feelings for another girl. But likely, they won’t lead anywhere. There are still times when I want to be with her. HER. I still long, sometimes, to just touch her and kiss her and hold her like I used to.

God, this is going to take some getting used to…